FAQ #5: My FH is a Big Baby!

When I saw this one, I just HAD to share….

“Anyone elses FH/FW a big baby? I have my work chirstmas party Friday & he doesn’t understand why I can’t go alone…. As soon to be husband and wife i think we should go places together and not live on separately.”

I know that you love each other. One of the great things about getting married is that you know you’re going to have that person with you all the time. It’s really nice and comforting when you find the love of your life.

When it comes to relationships, there’s a little something that you need to understand and it’s hard to explain. Though there is a lovely idea that both partners need the same amount of time with the other, it’s not always so. There is an old addage that opposites attract…. maybe not exactly opposites but useful to keep in mind.

Having your SO attend every appointment that you have, can be daunting for them; It can be exhausting. Think about it like this, if you are heading the planning for the wedding, it can almost seem like they’re only a decoration, not quite a spouse. I know how it can be, trying to include the FH/FW in on the planning. “What ever you want, dear.” or “We have how many guests?!” can be the common response. It’s tough.

Maybe there can be a compromise. Try requesting their attendence during more final decision making, instead of every decision. And instead of having them show up to every social function, though you should invite them, maybe only insist on the important ones. 

With that in mind, though a Christmas party for work is an event they should really show up for, if they’re resistant to the idea, think about how often they had been attending other invited events. If they have already gone to the Christmas party for the pub, the bowling team, the book club, and the PTA, it would be a nice break to skip the office Christmas party.

There is one other thing that you may want to think about. IF they have not been particiapting in any planning, withdrawn from social events, and otherwise uninvolved, I would question their commitment level. Getting engaged is one thing, but when you start getting into the nitty gritty of planning, it can become a huge disruption, causing some people to get ‘cold feet.’ They think it’s easy planning a wedding, and when they’re faced with the reality of it, it can be too much. Just something to think about.

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