DIY Bride #19: Don’t Forget

You have a lot on your plate! You’re planning your own wedding for crying out loud! There is no humanly way possible to remember everything… or is there? Here are a list to help you keep on top of the 800 bazillion things you have going on.

Get a Damn Binder

Unless you have a brilliant staff of 60 to help you remember every little thing you’re planning, you’re going to need a system. And I’m sure that you’ve gone through the endless ocean of wedding binders and gimmick organizers that probably cost more than your dress. When I say endless, I mean ENDLESS – there are so many out there, how do you choose the right one? It’s really simple:

Choose the one that you will use.

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I know it sounds a little simplistic and the next thing you are going to say is, “If I buy it, I’m gonna use it!” Let’s look at all the people who buy gym memberships compared to those who actually go. It’s real simple: If it sucks to use it, you won’t, no matter how much you paid for it.

Here’s an example: I have a cool iPhone with all the iPhone cool apps that make me totally cool. I have a great 2-in-1 computer that has all this fancy stuff from turning into a tablet to touch screen to bluetooth everything. I have all the fancy, schmancy, high-tech and personalized everything that’s supposed to make my life easier.

You know what I actually use? A spiral notebook.

I shit you not: I use a spiral notebook and a pen I found on the ground at Disneyland.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s the big spiral notebook that has two pockets – come on, I’m not a caveman. That thing has got me through everything. While planning weddings, although I have those fancy software programs that help to keep everything sorted, you see me walking around the event with my 3-ring binder, my phone, 6 pens in my hair, and my spiral fucking notebook.

My point is: having something that you got ‘just for your wedding’ is lovely. If you don’t use it, it doesn’t do you any good. You need a system that’s going to keep you organized and on top of all the things you have going on. Not to scare you, but the closer you get to the wedding, the more chaotic it’s going to get. Be prepared!

Transportation

You have this grand enterence planned out. You have delicately planned every detail and every moment for your wedding day. It’s goes on, brilliantly. And as the evening is winding down, and your guests bid you adieu, you look lovingly into your new spouce’s eye and say, “How the fuck are we getting home?”

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You don’t need the headache

You don’t really think about this step unless you have either a budget that allows for a limo, you’re having a destination wedding or going to the airport after, or you’re staying at the same location you’re getting hitched. Most other options mean you’re going to have to get home some how after your reception.

If you’re a DIY Bride, you’re not going to want to leave in your 2002 Honda Civic with your big dress and big hair, stuffed into the front seat like an overfilled eclair. You’re going to want to have a little elegance there. DON’T FORGET TO SCHEDULE YOUR RIDE!

Whether the Weather Matters

It does.

No. There is no circumstance that exsists where you don’t have to think about the weather. It’s not just for outdoor weddings, you know. You have to think about your guests arriving, your venue, your hair, your gown. If you have to walk for 10 seconds outside of a building, you’re going to want to keep an eye on the weather.

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I’m not talking for rain either.  Wind can just dismantle a ceremony or reception in moments. Extreme sunshine, though lovely, can kill your hair, make-up, skin, not to mention the guests who have to sit in it. Cloudy days change colors from seemingly bright to dull, making your lovely wedding look like a funeral.

You can’t control the weather, so don’t even try. But take into account some solutions to these types of problems as your day gets closer. If it’s going to be blisteringly bright and hot, get inexpensive parasols for your guests. Offer them sunscreen. If it’s cloudy, make sure you have enough lighting available. If there’s rain, get clear or really nice umbrellas.

Also, make sure your vendors, particularly your hair and make-up artists, are aware and ask about their contigency plans. I know some hair stylists will extend their time at your wedding to manage any hair mishaps before they get out of control. You’re going to want to keep that all in mind.

Have a Gopher … er, a Go-For

Let’s say you don’t have a great maid-of-honor (MOH) and the wedding planner provided by the venue is less than adequate, to say the least. You need to have a Go-For able to assist you at any possible moment before, during, and after your wedding.

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Your MOH would do a lot of the things that you need done. And what she’s not able to or you don’t really want her to do, you would entrust to your wedding planner – even if you only have one for the day. But if you decided to go it alone, make sure you have someone to be your Go-For throughout your wedding day.

Hire a Sitter

Seriously. If you have kids, you know what it’s like trying to fold dishes and wash paperwork and put away garbage in the right drawers. If you don’t have kids, then reread that last sentence because that’s exactly what it feels like. It leaves you thinking, “WTF just happened? Everything is wrong. Why is she wasting her time anyways.” That’s as accurate as it can be.

fancy kids

So, though you love your babies and you want them to be a part of your special day, hire a sitter. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just someone to be in charge of the kids while you go and get married. Someone to entertain them so they don’t cause a rukas. Someone to step in so you can cut a rug without worrying if they snuck out the backdoor to find lizards.

A lot of brides I’ve known say things like, “My ma is going to do that.” My biggest issue with that is: So, you’re going to have your mom work at your wedding? It might be a harsh way to look at it but that’s exactly what you’re volunteering them for. Your guests should be guests… not employees. Spend $100 on a certified sitter – someone you’re of course comfortable with – and save yourself some headache and additional stress.

Let’s say you don’t have kids but you have kids coming to your wedding. HIRE A SITTER. Have a special area set aside for kids within a certain age range (obviously, I mean kids that are younger, not the older ones who can fend for themselves). Give them a TV, activities, and someone to stay with them to keep the entertainment going.

Kids are brilliant at weddings, they really are. They make everyone smile and laugh. Kids also seems to make people who otherwise wouldn’t, act silly and let go of inhabitions. They only become trouble when they’re bored. Keep them engaged, happy, fed, and entertained, and I promise: You will not regret having kids at your wedding.

A little side-note on behalf of your guests and wedding party members who have kids: They will really love you for this one. It gives them a chance to 1. unload the stress of having kids, 2. let loose and enjoy themselves, 3. focus on their duties during and after the wedding, and 4. help to make your wedding wonderful.

Don’t Forget to Follow Swingin’ Dolly!

Keep these few things in mind while you’re planning your wedding. Your guests and wedding party will thank you.

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