FAQ #9: But it’s MY wedding!

It’s a wonderful thing, getting married. Having everyone you love there to witness you becoming one with your best friend… that’s why everyone cries: because they are all so happy that you’re happy!

bridezilla

We’ve all heard the term, “Bridezilla.” When you hear it, does it create mental pictures of bliss and harmony? If you said yes, please seek help from a mental health professional.  NO ONE wants to be considered a bridezilla. How do you know if you’re a bridezilla? You say one phrase more than any other:

“But it’s my wedding!!”

Yes. Yes it is. Does that mean you should treat the people around you like shit? Those people, the ones that are working the most to make sure your day is everything you want it to be …. and you’re going to pitch a fit because the peach color of the bridesmaids’ dresses is a different peach than the table cloths?

Keep Some Perspective

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Your wedding is your day; the day you have been dreaming about – for some of you – since you were little. I understand the importance of getting the details right, but let’s keep it the size that it is.

I had one bride go NUTS when the vases for the center pieces were 4″ tall instead of 5″. I just told her, “Listen, we need to pick a venue before we get tangled up about the center pieces.”

If the dog eats your wedding dess, that’s a big deal. If your bridesmaids don’t want to wear high heels, that’s not as big a deal. Let’s keep our heads.

Get it Right from the Get-Go

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I don’t ever see anyone start off as a bridezilla. That never happens, at least that’s never happened to me. It usually starts with underestimating how much work planning a wedding is, combined with other people not helping or delivering what they promised, then someone is rude or insensitive to your feelings and BAM – Out comes Bridezilla.

It’s usually an accumulation of little-to-moderate frustrations that combine to make Insta-Bridezilla. When you plan a wedding, unless you’re a professional, you’re going to need some help. I don’t mean financially, I don’t mean physically. I mean supportively. Someone to vent your frustrations, help you navigate disasters, and brainstorm for options. You would think your future spouse would do those things; they don’t. And that just adds more pressure on you because they think you got it licked and they are scott-free.

You would think that’s who your MOH is supposed to be. Normally, you would be right. However, poor choices in MOH can leave you still needing that emotional support. Make sure to pick your MOH not by who you’ve known the longest, but by the person you know will be there when you need her.

Setting boundries with pushy, overbearing, or otherwise obnoxious people is a healthy way to make sure they curb their opinions, unless asked for them.

Really, It’s Not Your Fault

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People don’t understand the pressure of planning a wedding. Make sure to have plans in place that will help the wave of stress, and you should do well. Know that it’s not just you. This is every person who tries to plan their own wedding alone. It’s not for the faint of heart. Those who don’t have the pressure of anxiety smashing down on them while planning their wedding has one of two things: Lots of money and/ or lots of supportive people in their lives.

Let’s say you’re broke and the only person you know is the one you’re marrying. It makes things tough but certainly not impossible. What’s going to save you? PLANNING. Plan the shit out of every little situation. Have a back-up for your back-up’s back-up.

Always have a planWhen I’m planning a wedding, I take my cues from the brilliant Leslie Knope, who is really my spirit animal. Stay organized. Keep your checklists. Make up back-up plans x 1000. And remember why you’re putting in all this effort to begin with: To marry the person of your dreams.

And in the End …

You’ll get through it, I promise. Just try not to shit on the people who help you get through it.

Oh, and have contingency plans in place. 😉

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